well, it seems that this has passed. this whole thing with being obsessed over having her back, as if she was going to be who she used to be. the thing is, it seems as if it’s strengthened my attachment to deerboi. i don’t know exactly how i feel about having a family or anything… Read More

fucked[0] = i find myself zoning out in the shower more often, which i was doing before, around the time of the breakup of Kaizen. i also find myself saying the same things about her, again. i also find myself going back to her profile and reading the messages between us. i keep thinking to… Read More

she’s still on my mind and im not sure why. im doing the same thing i do with people i have a new crush on. that whole thing where you think about beginning to end with them and what it’s like to do xyz. i dont know if this is just some sort of “side… Read More

thoughts are getting worse, more common, more…odd, and not sitting well with me. im coming across the same questions again. the same thoughts. i’ve been here before and i know it. something is wrong, something is reminding me for some reason…pulling me into the same state i was before. i’m better than what i used… Read More

been some time since ive been back here, which is good. system shows better results, im actually for the most part sleeping and waking up on time, taking care of things more, and overall just feeling a lot better about myself. some of it was confidence and building that up, some of it was simply… Read More