she’s still on my mind and im not sure why. im doing the same thing i do with people i have a new crush on. that whole thing where you think about beginning to end with them and what it’s like to do xyz.

i dont know if this is just some sort of “side effect” to being home all day with just the dog and not a human…as much as that sounds like an asshole remark its i guess the socializing part. can’t talk to a dog the same you talk to your friends to get advice if you will.

i know though that if i do fight it, its going to make it worse. it seems to always do. every time i’ve put myself down and tried to just rip it out of me and stop thinking this way and this and that…i go into this crazed frenzy of where im second guessing myself about everything, i cant think straight, i cant sleep, all of it.

i guess we ride this out and see what happens, but i dont really wanna be near anyone right now. nothing feels right or okay.