i can feel myself slipping again and i dont know why…its hard to tell at the moment. but i know it is about how you hold yourself and how well you can keep up. i just gotta stay up enough until it keeps itself up for the time being.… Read More

The opprotinity to potentially complete my life and I hope he would feel the same…but I should be prepared for the worst at all times…… Read More

ive had a good last few days, it should be interesting to see how they continue to play out given my issues curving up and down like a roller coaster… Read More

damn this shit confusiing… Read More

this should hopefully be the final test – twitter developer setup is confusing as hell just to change keys from R/O to R/W. next thing they’re gonna have me doing is jailbreaking my phone to get the keys (a joke dont ban me.)… Read More

this is a broadcast test for automatic publishing and provisioning of external resources outside of nest.protogen.army. if you’ve received this message – excellent! if not, consider cutting the blue ethernet cable instead of the red. probably take it out of your ass as well.… Read More

well, today has been…moot. very little has occurred today and that’s just the way i like it. treat this day as any other. i dont care for the attention, the gifts (grateful to have but i see it more as a burden on others who think i expect anything more), and whatever else is usually… Read More

just for clarification – no, nothing related to suicide is occuring. but instead, the day that apparently is chosen for my birth date. i should be happy or excited or whatever people think. but im not. i dont like the attention, i dont want it to be celebrated, i just…i want to be left alone.… Read More

today has mentally been a shit show. outside of that, i guess okay. did some stuff with friends before it was rudely interrupted. in my head though, i need to get shit under control somehow. i dont know how and that’s usually the problem. ive been pretty bad today with my porn usage, which i… Read More

I have to keep telling myself – its not sex I want, its love. It is not sex I want, it is love. I continue to think about how I could go to one of these sex clubs in the states. I could swing by outside of my scheduled time to be at my location… Read More