its been some time since i came back on here.

theres really not much to say other then the sexual drive is down, and it doesnt feel supressed.

that and i dont really know still what i like and dont like. or if i like anyone for that matter. i dont believe it should be a focus and i dont think i am “built to love”. its all a fucking mess for me.

something tells me every day to wait it out. deerboi will come to me, things will be better, and life will improve.

but each day that passes, i lose more hope. more thoughts that good things will come…because thats not how life works. i dont just sit here and wait for answers.

on the other end of things though, seeing improvement in myself since the launch of a new site.

may change things around and add back more data to this site. we will see.

sleep meds kicking in, need to schedule these better…