tonight has been…interesting…to say the least.

low energy, low motivation, not even wanting to play games, and now i dont know if i am fucking up with what ive said to a close friend. far too much going on and im supposed to be happy.

i can feel myself slipping again and i dont know why. it could be the porn, it could be lack of sun with all the rain and snow…its hard to tell at the moment. but i know it is about how you hold yourself and how well you can keep up. i just gotta stay up enough until it keeps itself up for the time being.

there are some better things going on though and focusing might help. that being kube cluster up and of drinking age and all (not that i do or care, but getting random bursts of motivation and happiness since bday), work shit coming up, stuff like that.

i just need to keep my head in the game and not fuck things up. how hard can that be right?