another task taken care of on the cluster… and yet more dreams, memories, thoughts…failures…to attribute to my logs. its as if every day i continue to build this foundation for a better future for myself, my friends and family, and my supposed future partner…since that’s not guaranteed and all, ykno. either way, i continue to… Read More

The more I focus on trying to quit porn and go back to just imagination and fantasies…the better it seems to set me off. Waking up today I had deerboi on my mind…not just sex but holding him close, waking up next to him in bed, laying on his chest as he gently caressed my… Read More

It appears I’m once again getting that need for sex again…but it feels…empty. I keep getting these thoughts of going to those prostitutes or how ill be in that city soon to head to one of those gay clubs. I truly don’t want that. I want a loving relationship and a wonderful partner and a… Read More

I lie awake in the middle of the night here, wondering so many things. How do I continue to keep this job if I am not doing it properly? How do I handle this situation in front of me with two close friends? And yet, here i am with some of these answers, asking as… Read More