its about 2 in the morning. ended up breaking my 5 day streak (luckily not to nsfw content) and deleted my grindr account, and yet somehow everything just went back to normal. the first time i had done the deed, everything stopped for a second and i stopped freaking out. i stopped always thinking about… Read More

i felt myself slip earlier today searching for some stuff for another friend, trying to give him server parts so he can grow his knowledge and all. i let my system make some extra stuff i needed before moving files and reinstalling some software, so i went to go search around, clean the car up… Read More

I think it’s beginning to hit hard…knowing that I had an s/o. that I had kaizen. Sure, he wasn’t worth it and he wasn’t a good fit for me and never saw things how I did and I always tried to stick my neck out for him and defend him and he never did much… Read More

Something I’m noticing with this new…defense of sorts…I’m not sure if I should be concerned really or if I’ve become much more picky. I think I said this in my last update, but I can’t get…excited. not the feeling, but what happens down there. That or I’ve caused such a stir within me mentally that… Read More

so i wanted to make a new note for today, before going to bed, before losing anything, before taking sleep aid, all that stuffs. i have yet to speak to deerboi again, and something tells me i probably wont hear from him again. the last message was me saying “Just don’t do any sex parties… Read More

Past few days I’ve been playing a handful of furry porn games. Furry Cyberfuckers 2, Nazifurry, Furry Sex: Cabret, and then a beautiful one – My Furry Protogen. No needs, no wants, no urges. Easy to control and take care of for some reason. Most porn and yiff I’ve been looking at I’ve been finding… Read More

can probably make this day more of a reward to remember then anything…no porn, no jacking it, nothing…it’s been quiet and zero actual impulses on my habits. although what I do find concerning is some of my furry shit. went through and played MyFurryProtogen for a couple hours and while yes short story…and odd too…it… Read More

looks like being alone is back on the menu gents! I think my insecurities and fears are getting to me again. Most of my days have been well, with the occasional short fuse days but I can usually manage those and if anything, it’s a test to enhance my patience even on the worst days…… Read More

checking something….ping… Read More