so not sure if I’m drunk or autistic as fuck, but had about half a bottle of 15% sake. tastes like shit until you pair it with cranberry juice.

wanted to note I seem a little more emotional and want to fucking go after Kaizen. I’m also a lot more horny and I want to be put in a room full of hot guys in a gangbang.

Genuinely think something is wrong with me…oh and I keep thinking about travelling to Deerboi to surprise him but that’s before I even drank today…and now that I think about it I think he would hate me even more for it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he hates me now…I just wanted someone to love and I saw him in distress…fuck me I need to keep to myself

oh and last addon, it appears that thoughts of ending my life seem to be a bit more common after drinking, that or it’s just tonight. several thoughts have come up about wanting to put a barrel in my mouth and pull the trigger