I cant trust myself in my current state…this is going to take some time to restore back to something healthy…

ive deleted my account and im growing a bigger and bigger distaste and overall just…disgust for all of what ive done. part of me told me to push until i cant stand it. but i dont want it to snap and i end up like the rest of these dumbasses…but yet, i want to save these people from what ive done. I want to help. I want to show them something better.

unfortunately that also requires them to put in effort. I dont know…fuck why is this world so horrid. time and time again, its not the wars and such that go on every day that disgust me. dont get me wrong, those need to stop too…but its the manipulation, the propaganda, the immoral things that people are persuaded into doing. its gross, yet…its like a mind control virus. youre so entraced into it. you need more. you need that next hookup. you need to dress in skirts in public for your fetish. you need to cut off your limbs to change how people see you.

i fucking hate it. i hate it all. i want to rip the whole thing apart, this system that tells people to do these things. to tell them its okay to do so. to modify who you are as a person not to grow and be better…but because someone else thinks you need to change.

i wont let it take me…and i dont want it changing anyone else. but just how the hell do you go against something pushed so hard? to the point its “youll do as they say or youre going to jail”. yet when someone points it out, its either not happening or not as its cracked up to be.

and to those who want to push all of this…i ask you, are you really and truly oppressed? or are you acting like a child not getting their way?