So woke up today with little issue and got some motivation in me to get some of my projects done. Progress was made, moving a nearly 4 year learning project into something worthwhile. And something I learned is JSON is fuckin poggies.

Before, I had written PHP scripts to basically echo the elements, all the span and div items, from the script to retrieve er…contacts we’ll just say. I moved it over to instead transmit JSON, allowing not only external themes to be applied should anyone want to later on, but it makes the while flow a lot cleaner and smoother. I think I slashed the actual script size in half.

Getting up today too, I was motivated but only towards my own work. Today was one of the first days I was actually not happy to go to work. Which…is interesting. And I seemed to be right in that it’s going to be another annoying day. Between retards calling us thinking we can fix their phones to tickets of the same thing being asked a gazillion times a week because people don’t read…it’s not a pain in the ass persay, but it’s fucking annoying.

I’d like to continue doing my work here at my main job. I really do. Almost everyone I work with I have no problem with. It’s like my 4th year here and I’m just now having issues. Maybe I was naive or ignorant. Either way, I think it might be a blessing in disguise. Something telling me to just stop focusing on that so badly and use my downtime to extend my skills on my own instead. If I’m not gonna be listened to when I can clearly point out issues that are gonna arrise, then I’m just not gonna try. It’s no different then a company canceling a product they aren’t gonna use. Why pay for GSuite if your team uses Microsofts suite instead?

Additionally too though, currently in the shower typing this out…and I keep getting these thoughts of going back to the fucking sex clubs all over again. Which…clarifies to me that this whole thing is a drug. And I’m an addict who needs to be clean. I’m not sure what I’d classify as the drug, whether that’s mindless sex or hookups or just feeling happy…I’m not sure. It’s prompting more ideas in my head I’d never go through when I’m in a good condition…that being an Onlyfans or becoming one of those femboy thirst traps on Twitter. Because that’s always a good route to go down…

Makes me wonder just how Kaizen is holding up. I haven’t spoken to him and if I recall correctly when we got in a fight one time, he was upset over my off and on (understandable) but absolutely loved the sex we had. Might be a stretch but I unfortunately could see him at least being persuaded into one of those clubs…especially considering he’s within 25 miles of one because of where he moved to. The only reason I probably haven’t is I’m I think 309 from the nearest. A 5 hour drive for some 1 hour schlong and hole.

Hopefully that’s all that comes of this…just simple fantasies that fade away in my head. Especially now because it seems that I have no anxious feelings or a thought of “we shouldn’t be doing this”. Just emptiness. It concerns me and I dont want another Las Vegas incident…