After falling asleep relatively late last night…I’m now presented with a lot more issues. I’m not sure what caused this last night but it was an odd dream. It was like I was back in that city. The one I chose to commit my atrocities in. I went back to the club, naked and all, and didn’t understand what the fuck I was doing. I wanted out. I wanted to go home and not do this. And yet, I still went forward with it. I kept searching for guys to screw. I wanted to act like a whore. And all for what? To catch STDs? To end up dying from fuckin HIV before 30?

I’m not sure what was the reasoning behind this dream, but it seems to have set off some other problems. Woke up today not feeling the best, low energy…but which has been normal. My sex drive is a little higher then usual, and my overall concern for those I once loved…has grown significantly more.

I’m not sure what’s up and how it’s gonna affect me or others, but I need to keep moving forward. I need to produce results, be independent, and continue fighting for what’s right…and still give myself breaks from time to time so I’m not 6ft under sooner then later…

I feel fucking disgusted though…that’s for sure.