firing on no cylinders putting this in notes only because i think its something important to add but also seems repetitive. dont know. it appears that today i cannot function at all, period. i’m thinking about all three of them. her, kaizen, and deerboi. and others. others ive hurt. others ive had hookups with. others that thought i was… Read More
a yearn for love my days go on and it seems my lust goes unchecked. every day for some reason becomes a struggle and i still have yet to learn how to control this one little bit about me. this one bit that has led to so many fucking issues. so many fucking problems with control, with being a… Read More
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dream 07222024 I had an odd dream following last night’s matters…started with me somehow losing a drone in a river. I had asked for some assistance with folks I knew around town and went downtown to get extra clothes for some reason In the store, I joined a furry telegram chat and started expressing my issues about… Read More
the show must go on I sit at the end of the road once more, thinking to myself what could I have done different. What could I have forced myself to do, and what could I have wained off from. I, once again, have seemed to hurt myself mentally and emotionally again, and this is beginning to be like a… Read More
alcohol and I: a horrible duo well I wanted to try something tonight… I took a shower about 9pm as I was mostly busy with other things today and was waiting on my Linux rig to move files around (switching distros, I need to partition my home directory and my actual system root differently). During and after this shower, my sex… Read More
destiny or confidence? so the past week or so was decently good…thinking maybe I can find a partner who fits me right, humor, maybe career, stuff like that…but I’m not so sure that that’s going to happen… first, I continue to think here and there about Deerboi, as much as I shouldn’t. as much as I continue to… Read More
schitzo moments Wanted to note this since I find it very…off. Yesterday, I was having some issues with my pain. Surprisingly not mental this time, but physical. It’s most likely from sitting at my desk for so long, but it seems the midcenter area of my back is getting bad enough I find it hard to sit… Read More
boosted performance I guess while I wait for my OS to recompile itself…I mine as well make some updates… For Kaizen, I seem to have lost all interest, at least for now. What’s done is done… As for deerboi…that’s another story. I’m still not sure why. He’s done little to nothing for me, yet I wanted to… Read More