(unknown if I have posted this before, but backing up media. This message was to be sent to deerboi on the marked date) I really hate to ask this of you…but when you’re available, id like to ask for help on something personal I don’t mean to bug you or anything… I’m going to just… Read More

I’m going down that rabbit hole again…the same one of sex, hot gay guys, and instead of love…lust. going on that dating app, seeing better results, and what I thought were two people that I’d actually want to get to know. things were going well. then just…poof. gone. blocked. for absolutely no reason at all.… Read More

well, i decided it was a smart move to put myself on the dating radar again, because that has gone so well for me in the past…… Read More

After falling asleep relatively late last night…I’m now presented with a lot more issues. I’m not sure what caused this last night but it was an odd dream. It was like I was back in that city. The one I chose to commit my atrocities in. I went back to the club, naked and all,… Read More

It’s been some time…I thought I was ready to move on from a lot, including my thoughts here. I thought I was to mature, but I can’t handle the stress I’m being put under anymore… Work has been nothing but a shit show. Something in which I thought I could believe in and I always… Read More

I think I’m going to make this my last note for a while. I don’t feel good, I keep seeing problems occur, I’m stressed out, I continue to accommodate and dig into my addictions just to feel a little happier in the day, and I continue to not just day dream…but dream while actually sleeping… Read More

I’m not sure what the reasoning is behind this one…and I should of written it down earlier…but I recall being in HS again. Taking a class with some folks I recognize. I recall searching through a social platform for whaleTooth for some unbeknownst reason. My old CS teacher hovering above me, chitchatting back and forth… Read More

I think I’m finally going into autopilot. Back where I am actually useful. Instead of an emotional mess always asking why does this happen, why am I so broken, what is wrong with me…it’s simply just all suppressed. I can work flawlessly, easy, and I don’t need to feel stressed. Even today’s meeting I had… Read More

So to start off with – my dumbass accidently deleted a volume with the database for this site and services on it. I’m not sure how I missed a db server running on it but got it running luckily without corruption. Second – while I had been restoring those files last night, something royally pissed… Read More

I’ve got a few different things to speak on tonight…first and quick one being I still have yet to hear from deerboi, not even a hello. I am assuming all of that at this point is dead and done for…it’s been since May 17th…or more since the 11th I guess since I’ve had a response.… Read More