another task taken care of on the cluster… and yet more dreams, memories, thoughts…failures…to attribute to my logs. its as if every day i continue to build this foundation for a better future for myself, my friends and family, and my supposed future partner…since that’s not guaranteed and all, ykno. either way, i continue to… Read More

The more I focus on trying to quit porn and go back to just imagination and fantasies…the better it seems to set me off. Waking up today I had deerboi on my mind…not just sex but holding him close, waking up next to him in bed, laying on his chest as he gently caressed my… Read More

It appears I’m once again getting that need for sex again…but it feels…empty. I keep getting these thoughts of going to those prostitutes or how ill be in that city soon to head to one of those gay clubs. I truly don’t want that. I want a loving relationship and a wonderful partner and a… Read More

I lie awake in the middle of the night here, wondering so many things. How do I continue to keep this job if I am not doing it properly? How do I handle this situation in front of me with two close friends? And yet, here i am with some of these answers, asking as… Read More

i can feel myself slipping again and i dont know why…its hard to tell at the moment. but i know it is about how you hold yourself and how well you can keep up. i just gotta stay up enough until it keeps itself up for the time being.… Read More

The opprotinity to potentially complete my life and I hope he would feel the same…but I should be prepared for the worst at all times…… Read More

ive had a good last few days, it should be interesting to see how they continue to play out given my issues curving up and down like a roller coaster… Read More

damn this shit confusiing… Read More

this should hopefully be the final test – twitter developer setup is confusing as hell just to change keys from R/O to R/W. next thing they’re gonna have me doing is jailbreaking my phone to get the keys (a joke dont ban me.)… Read More

this is a broadcast test for automatic publishing and provisioning of external resources outside of nest.protogen.army. if you’ve received this message – excellent! if not, consider cutting the blue ethernet cable instead of the red. probably take it out of your ass as well.… Read More